Today is 'Cliche Awards Day'

Let the ceremony begin!

The "Locking The Barn Door After The Horse Is Gone" trophy is awarded to Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick for his new policy directive, released yesterday, which decreed that the text messages and other communications on telephone, text devices and pagers issued to city employees are private.

An attractive "Wouldn't Touch It With A 10-Foot Pole" certificate is presented to the many county prosecutors who have declined the invitation of Kim Warren Eddie of the State Prosecuting Attorneys Coordinating Council to investigate allegations that the head of the Wayne County prosecutor's drug unit lied to jurors and allowed two cops to lie as well to obtain a conviction in a cocaine case. The situation is "complicated," says Eddie.

The "Comforts Of Indoor Plumbing" plaque goes to the 42-2 District Court in New Baltimore, which will open for business Monday in a new, $7.5 million courthouse, complete with its own restroom facilities. The old building didn't have any.

The "Mind Your Own Business" medallion is being presented by the state House of Representatives to Michigan employers who seek to control their employees' legal, off-premises activities. A package of bills has cleared the lower chamber that would prevent, among other things, employers from firing or refusing to hire smokers, skydivers and motorcycle racers.

The "Fear And Loathing" award is bestowed upon Republican Party Chairman Saul Anuzis, who is speculating that Kalamazoo-based billionaire Jon Stryker is preparing to spend some significant cash to oust Michigan Supreme Court Chief Justice Clifford Taylor in November.

And last, but not least, the "Fish Or Cut Bait" loving cup is awarded to Democratic Party Chair Mark Brewer, who is talking a mean game against Taylor but, so far, has not revealed his party's MSC candidate.